Luke 18:27
Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
I'm sorry to say this, but I recently recognise that I find it to be extremely difficult to pray for situations which seem impossible and hopeless to me. So the verse above seems very difficult to comprehend and grasp. While I recognise it and the fact that it is truth, there isn't a deep personal belief which my inner man testifies of.
Some 1-2 weeks ago, I got the email blitz that my former pastor was supposedly with cancer and prayer request for God to do the impossible and heal miraculously. Then, another email came stating that the cancer was a stage 4 (the most fatal stage) and we were told to rebuke it and claim for complete healing. Somehow, I just can't make myself claim that the impossible can be turned around.
In my mind and heart, there is a sense of skepticism as well as resignation that such killer diseases are inevitably going to lead to death. Moreover, it's so widespread nowadays that I'm just being realistic and pragmatic that we should just do what is enough to prepare for the inevitable, rather than pray our hearts out.
Honestly, it does scare me that I'm feeling so resigned, and a seemingly lack of faith. As I walked to work, I muttered to God, please don't place me in such a situation because of my lack of faith or passion to pray for the impossible to happen. I don't want to be honest with myself/you and then be placed in the darkest situation so that you can prove to me that you can do the impossible. Simply because I know that if I'm stricken with a terminal disease, I'm unlikely to cry for healing because I'm too fatalistic and practical. In fact, I'm likely to ask people to pray that it be fast and painless, rather than pray pray pray, fast fast fast..... Too much effort for something which i deem inevitable. However, if this happens to those close to me, now that is a different story, butthe last thing I need is to have God use someone that I care about prove a point to me that he can do the impossible.
As I look back, I have seen a close friend pass on despite her faith and the multiple powerful ministry by others to her. I've also witness in church camp, how many zealous prayers were made, just to have the inevitable happen. In rangers, I've seen the passing of a US leader inspite of much prayers being rallied for. In all these, I've not seen the mega miracle that made me believe that prayers in such impossible cases can result in God turning the situation around, not that I'm really eager to see God prove himself because in his sovereignty, he doesn't need to prove himself to me.
But, before my heart turns cold, hardened by skepticism and my mind conditioned by pragmatic logic, I ask that God, you make your sovereignty seen in the impossible case before me in the life of my former pastor. Not to prove to me, but just because there are those who can testify of your goodness and through it, your name will be glorified.
M.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalms 73:26)
05 August 2009
01 August 2009
The source and purpose of success
1 Kings 16:1-4
Then the word of the LORD came to Jehu son of Hanani against Baasha: "I lifted you up from the dust and made you leader of my people Israel, but you walked in the ways of Jeroboam and caused my people Israel to sin and to provoke me to anger by their sins. So I am about to consume Baasha and his house, and I will make your house like that of Jeroboam son of Nebat. Dogs will eat those belonging to Baasha who die in the city, and the birds of the air will feed on those who die in the country."
The story of Baasha is common of the kings of Israel. They ascended to the throne, but never stayed there to do enough good. Once there, we read about how they forgot about God and sinned. They failed at their life's purpose of being successful.
As we live in this competitive country, we all strive to succeed. Albeit, to be top at school, obtain a scholarship, the best job with the highest possible salary, a pay raise, a big house....the list goes on. We won't be raised as kings to oversee God's country, but we will receive money or resources or lives to command. The strive to succeed will be a part of our life's journey and when we do reach there, we may be tempted to forget who helped us do so. Success often sabotages the memories of the past.
The question, however, is after we receive a measure of success. Do we know the purpose of our life and why we are striving to succeed? Or do we end up like Baasha and forget to live a grounded life.
It's not about achieving our own goals and glory. Success is awarded to us for God's glory sake. Yours and my success is not about what we do. It's all about God and how He graciously made us successful, and that no man may boast of his own efforts.
If we can't handle the responsibilities which comes with success, I pray that we'll always remain humbled and simple. Why does God help us succeed? So we can make him known, or as the song goes, for us to "shout His fame".
M.
Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits (Psalms 103:2)
Then the word of the LORD came to Jehu son of Hanani against Baasha: "I lifted you up from the dust and made you leader of my people Israel, but you walked in the ways of Jeroboam and caused my people Israel to sin and to provoke me to anger by their sins. So I am about to consume Baasha and his house, and I will make your house like that of Jeroboam son of Nebat. Dogs will eat those belonging to Baasha who die in the city, and the birds of the air will feed on those who die in the country."
The story of Baasha is common of the kings of Israel. They ascended to the throne, but never stayed there to do enough good. Once there, we read about how they forgot about God and sinned. They failed at their life's purpose of being successful.
As we live in this competitive country, we all strive to succeed. Albeit, to be top at school, obtain a scholarship, the best job with the highest possible salary, a pay raise, a big house....the list goes on. We won't be raised as kings to oversee God's country, but we will receive money or resources or lives to command. The strive to succeed will be a part of our life's journey and when we do reach there, we may be tempted to forget who helped us do so. Success often sabotages the memories of the past.
The question, however, is after we receive a measure of success. Do we know the purpose of our life and why we are striving to succeed? Or do we end up like Baasha and forget to live a grounded life.
It's not about achieving our own goals and glory. Success is awarded to us for God's glory sake. Yours and my success is not about what we do. It's all about God and how He graciously made us successful, and that no man may boast of his own efforts.
If we can't handle the responsibilities which comes with success, I pray that we'll always remain humbled and simple. Why does God help us succeed? So we can make him known, or as the song goes, for us to "shout His fame".
M.
Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits (Psalms 103:2)
29 July 2009
Losing coz we don't care enough
This issue struck me last week and it reinforced itself this week.
There's always been this unique ER boy in living springs whom I've found quirky to spend a bit more attention to. He's allergic to peanuts, prone to emotional swings, but is also very passionate and musically talented. Early this year, he dropped out because he mentioned of tuition which was meant to allow him to succeed in his O levels. He would attempt to attend the saturday night service, but sadly, that never transpired.
Much as I thought of him, I didn't do much coz I told myself that I was just a helper and lots of other excuses.
Then, last week I chanced upon him online and had a quick chat. Was overjoyed that he was doing well as he had been reached by a classmate and was now attending one of the fast growing church. With much zeal, he shared with me his renewed passion for God and was attending services on both weekends as well as cell.
Happy as I was for him, I felt a tinge of regret as I realised that it was by God's grace that someone reached out to him and he responded. Could that person be me or anyone from living springs? I'm sure. But why wasn't it the case, simply because we didn't care enough to do what was needed to reach the lost.
Genesis 16:7 speaks of how God reached out to Hagar when she ran away from Sarah, despite her pregnancy. "The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur."
I always question why growing churches and mega ones do so well in reaching out to so many lost youths, and I realised that the issue is not about what people do that is different, but the fact that we need to bother to care about others in order to keep our flock.
This week, another issue closer to home popped up. Much as it is disrupting my life and schedule and making me exhausted, I told myself that I need to respond faster so that the end result will not be something I would live to regret. I would be willing to be a vassel sent to to Hagars in the desert.
M.
There's always been this unique ER boy in living springs whom I've found quirky to spend a bit more attention to. He's allergic to peanuts, prone to emotional swings, but is also very passionate and musically talented. Early this year, he dropped out because he mentioned of tuition which was meant to allow him to succeed in his O levels. He would attempt to attend the saturday night service, but sadly, that never transpired.
Much as I thought of him, I didn't do much coz I told myself that I was just a helper and lots of other excuses.
Then, last week I chanced upon him online and had a quick chat. Was overjoyed that he was doing well as he had been reached by a classmate and was now attending one of the fast growing church. With much zeal, he shared with me his renewed passion for God and was attending services on both weekends as well as cell.
Happy as I was for him, I felt a tinge of regret as I realised that it was by God's grace that someone reached out to him and he responded. Could that person be me or anyone from living springs? I'm sure. But why wasn't it the case, simply because we didn't care enough to do what was needed to reach the lost.
Genesis 16:7 speaks of how God reached out to Hagar when she ran away from Sarah, despite her pregnancy. "The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur."
I always question why growing churches and mega ones do so well in reaching out to so many lost youths, and I realised that the issue is not about what people do that is different, but the fact that we need to bother to care about others in order to keep our flock.
This week, another issue closer to home popped up. Much as it is disrupting my life and schedule and making me exhausted, I told myself that I need to respond faster so that the end result will not be something I would live to regret. I would be willing to be a vassel sent to to Hagars in the desert.
M.
11 June 2009
Forgetful
Ephesians 3:17-19
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge."
As I listened to my daily podcast of bible verses, every few chapters of the books of the Pentateuch and book of the prophets keep mentioning of the valiant success and then pitiful failures of the nation of Israel.
It's really sad to listen to the accounts of God's people forgetting God and then suffering the consequences.
It is also then that i came to the realisation that we are ungrateful beings. Short-termed memory, never satisfied, always complaining. These are just some of the key traits found in all of us. In many instances, we receive easily and forget too easily the source of our life and goodness.
I can't tell you how to not be forgetful, simply because I too view myself and recognise the flaws of my wretched life. But I pray we can remember the simple truth that God so loved the world that we were individually loved and saved.
M.
Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. (Ecclesiastes 5:10)
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge."
As I listened to my daily podcast of bible verses, every few chapters of the books of the Pentateuch and book of the prophets keep mentioning of the valiant success and then pitiful failures of the nation of Israel.
It's really sad to listen to the accounts of God's people forgetting God and then suffering the consequences.
It is also then that i came to the realisation that we are ungrateful beings. Short-termed memory, never satisfied, always complaining. These are just some of the key traits found in all of us. In many instances, we receive easily and forget too easily the source of our life and goodness.
I can't tell you how to not be forgetful, simply because I too view myself and recognise the flaws of my wretched life. But I pray we can remember the simple truth that God so loved the world that we were individually loved and saved.
M.
Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. (Ecclesiastes 5:10)
09 June 2009
Parting is such sorrow
The last 2 days were dedicated to the round-up camp. During which I deeply pondered why the older rangers didn't attend or even prioritise to attend it. Disappointing as it was to see them make sure poor decisions, during the moment of thought I realised that it was a costly affair to have so many commanders sacrifice their expensive hours being there for the fewer than expected rangers.
As I lazed in the mid morning sun yesterday, it dawned upon me that I sacrificed 1 precious day of leave just to be there and that itself is worth more than $300 per day based on the salary I draw. How incredibly scary to waste away such money just to take leave to supervise kids and occasionally stone by the beach doing tribal, kampong like activities! Especially if I can better utilise it on a personal holiday overseas.
However, as I left the campers last night at midnight and journeyed home, I discovered that I was dragging my foot and my heart was left behind with the companionship of the kids. I had enjoyed myself amidst their laughter, annoying characters and childish innocence and parting was now such a sorrow. I would have sacrifice much just to be back there and not have to go to work.
Today, I came to work with a heavy heart because I really wanted to be there with the kids as they journeyed to the last of the camp's activities. Working really sucked and had little value compared to being there in the camp. Sadly, as a new employee I cannot afford to take that additional day and I also had 2 important meetings to be in. (which I deem as marginally time wasting, based on my current mellow mood)
I cannot imagine why anyone would prioritise any secular life over christian fellowship and being there with the young, impressionable lives. As the night sermon asked: "How much is your life worth?". I come to realise that my secular life is truely expensive in terms of dollars per hours, but it pales in comparision with the value of being there for and with the kids.
As I look at the time, I know the kids are probably screaming in joy playing Nintendo Wii as they countdown the hours to the end of the camp. To be here working, I earned hundreds of dollars. But to be there with the rangers in camp, priceless.
M.
Psalm 84:10: Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere
As I lazed in the mid morning sun yesterday, it dawned upon me that I sacrificed 1 precious day of leave just to be there and that itself is worth more than $300 per day based on the salary I draw. How incredibly scary to waste away such money just to take leave to supervise kids and occasionally stone by the beach doing tribal, kampong like activities! Especially if I can better utilise it on a personal holiday overseas.
However, as I left the campers last night at midnight and journeyed home, I discovered that I was dragging my foot and my heart was left behind with the companionship of the kids. I had enjoyed myself amidst their laughter, annoying characters and childish innocence and parting was now such a sorrow. I would have sacrifice much just to be back there and not have to go to work.
Today, I came to work with a heavy heart because I really wanted to be there with the kids as they journeyed to the last of the camp's activities. Working really sucked and had little value compared to being there in the camp. Sadly, as a new employee I cannot afford to take that additional day and I also had 2 important meetings to be in. (which I deem as marginally time wasting, based on my current mellow mood)
I cannot imagine why anyone would prioritise any secular life over christian fellowship and being there with the young, impressionable lives. As the night sermon asked: "How much is your life worth?". I come to realise that my secular life is truely expensive in terms of dollars per hours, but it pales in comparision with the value of being there for and with the kids.
As I look at the time, I know the kids are probably screaming in joy playing Nintendo Wii as they countdown the hours to the end of the camp. To be here working, I earned hundreds of dollars. But to be there with the rangers in camp, priceless.
M.
Psalm 84:10: Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere
04 June 2009
I am blessed
I never imagined that I'll write this, but it really dawned upon me sometime when I got my current job offer that I am blessed. To write it another way, my life is blessed.
I am where I am without trying very hard. Sure I work hard and know I do great work. But still, to be in work positions which are specially suited to fit me and to be in places that gives me good salary advancement as well as meet my ever picky needs, how many can truely boast that life gives them a good hand everytime.
Sometime in my last job when there was a christmas & chinese new year celebration respectively, I told everyone that I will surely get a lucky draw prize. I didn't get the best, but I just know that inspite of the odds of getting a prize I just would get something. So, I did get something and everyone also remarked that I'm truely very 'heng'.
For a long while, I have been dying to leave my old job. I tried ways and means to, but I was also very selective because I knew what I liked to do, and what made me enjoy working. Part of the criteria was to avoid having multiple rounds of interview. All of which I received in my current job.
Why am I blessed? As I walked back last week, I realised that in the nine years of working, I've never suffered a salary freeze despite the different economic cycles. In fact, I've seen my salary increase regulary and in a sizeable amount too. I've always enjoyed jobs which allows me to take leave to attend my camps and holidays as and when I liked. Importantly, I'm in a role which allows me to do what I love to do. Even in the worst conditions, when I can't do anything more, God always seem to complete what I omitted or can't do. In times where it matters, I find favour in the eyes of others.
I look at my life and am grateful for being in the place I am and enjoying the things around me because God has given me a good hand of cards to enjoy. I am truely blessed.
M.
Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever You had formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God. —Psalm 90:2
I am where I am without trying very hard. Sure I work hard and know I do great work. But still, to be in work positions which are specially suited to fit me and to be in places that gives me good salary advancement as well as meet my ever picky needs, how many can truely boast that life gives them a good hand everytime.
Sometime in my last job when there was a christmas & chinese new year celebration respectively, I told everyone that I will surely get a lucky draw prize. I didn't get the best, but I just know that inspite of the odds of getting a prize I just would get something. So, I did get something and everyone also remarked that I'm truely very 'heng'.
For a long while, I have been dying to leave my old job. I tried ways and means to, but I was also very selective because I knew what I liked to do, and what made me enjoy working. Part of the criteria was to avoid having multiple rounds of interview. All of which I received in my current job.
Why am I blessed? As I walked back last week, I realised that in the nine years of working, I've never suffered a salary freeze despite the different economic cycles. In fact, I've seen my salary increase regulary and in a sizeable amount too. I've always enjoyed jobs which allows me to take leave to attend my camps and holidays as and when I liked. Importantly, I'm in a role which allows me to do what I love to do. Even in the worst conditions, when I can't do anything more, God always seem to complete what I omitted or can't do. In times where it matters, I find favour in the eyes of others.
I look at my life and am grateful for being in the place I am and enjoying the things around me because God has given me a good hand of cards to enjoy. I am truely blessed.
M.
Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever You had formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God. —Psalm 90:2
26 May 2009
A new phase of life
It's been a long while. Too long
I've been really busy and have finally closed a chapter of my life in S.E. For that I'm grateful that I've finally been given a chance to leave.
As I commence the next phase of life in my new workplace, I do feel that there's a need to simplify how God and His word plays a part of my ever so busy, maddening secular work life. So, I'll try to simplify my postings.
- I've started work in anew place
- My buddy's married and off to his honeymoon
- Desmond's away for weeks in Perth for his flight grading test
- I'm struggling to keep up with understanding what I need to do in my new work place
There's a lot of things in my mind as I attempt to settle down in my new phase of life, but I would trade it all just to see changes in my RA's lives. It's been too long since I saw CGH and Lydia. God be with them and let them know you are there.
M.
“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”- John 3:17
I've been really busy and have finally closed a chapter of my life in S.E. For that I'm grateful that I've finally been given a chance to leave.
As I commence the next phase of life in my new workplace, I do feel that there's a need to simplify how God and His word plays a part of my ever so busy, maddening secular work life. So, I'll try to simplify my postings.
- I've started work in anew place
- My buddy's married and off to his honeymoon
- Desmond's away for weeks in Perth for his flight grading test
- I'm struggling to keep up with understanding what I need to do in my new work place
There's a lot of things in my mind as I attempt to settle down in my new phase of life, but I would trade it all just to see changes in my RA's lives. It's been too long since I saw CGH and Lydia. God be with them and let them know you are there.
M.
“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”- John 3:17