Reminder : I'm Heaven-bound

Revelations 21:1-4

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Ever since I returned from Japan on 22 April, my days at work are often filled with loneliness because my co-worker who is also my SE colleague is on maternity leave. My closest colleagues are workaholics contented to eat the awful food of the canteen. The rest of the folks, I'll never want to eat lunch with. So lunchtime can get really depressing as I venture out alone.

Eating alone occasionally is fine and sometimes fun, because I get to venture to town, eat nonsense instead of the typical standard meal. However, when it's for a continuous number of days, it really gets depressing. More so when the weather is crummy or days with work blues. 

Funny thing is, I have been feeling rather chirpy and positive the past week since I was busy trying to lookout for someone who's facing the blues and also teach my assigned RR leaders course on Sunday. Sure there are a couple of stuff which I'm contemplating about, some work issues and christian living tasks which I've been putting off. But nothing that warrant myself being low. However today just before lunch time,  as the reality of lunch alone plus Monday physical exhaustion blues hit, the emotions dipped.

I ate a boring, veggie rice with lotsa veggies and no gravy, since that reduces the oil, fat and whatever that could make it unhealthy and provoke more self-torment. Then I went to the supermarket to get myself the healthiest, lowest sugar tea with highest amount of tea poly-phenols, and at the cheapest offer price. (amazing how in the lowness of my feelings, my mind rationalises for my own benefit). 

Then I ambled to the library to find some air-conditioned solace. There wasn't any of the latest comics and I picked up a children's book "the girl who loved wild horses". Clearly unsatisfied after 4 minutes, I walked about to find some puppetry books since I wanted to get a bit more resources for my forthcoming ER teaching lessons. Nothing fruitful materialised and it was really getting depressing. As I did my rounds, I went to the standard fiction section to check out any latest books from Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. 

I'm really glad that my body got my there as I decided to pick up the last of the left behind series book "Kingdom come". Out of boredom, I told myself that I had nothing else to read, thus I might as well reread the last section of the book. At the description of Heaven and the fictional description of living in beautiful heaven and for eternity, something awoke in me and the shackles of my self-pity-party fell.

I am reminded that someday, if I continue to be faithful and always fix my eyes on Jesus, I'll make it to Heaven. That is really a goal worth going after and I simply cannot afford to fall on the wayside and allow myself to be sidetracked by my feelings or my secular aspirations. 

God did not promise a life that is smooth sailing, but He did promise a safe passage and importantly, a reward of eternity that is priceless. 

May we live as Heaven-bound individuals. 

blessings,

M.

"Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." (2 Timothy 4:8)

All you have

Mark 12:41-44

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on."

Coming to God when we are feeling spiffy and joyful is easy. Trying to self-encourage ourselves when we are down is such a painful task. I dread those days where I go into church attempting to fit in as everyone claps, moves and sings while I do it without a joyful heart because of the horrible circumstances around me. More so as we are  wrecked by the emotions that render us feeling miserable in the house of God and guilty of coming in with an imperfect condition.

Yet, somehow I don't seem to recall that we are commanded to come to God's house with a perfect condition, ready to excitedly praise. As long as we come with the intention to honour Him with what we have, however beaten down we are, God doesn't mind.

As I reflect at how Christ viewed the poor widow, I really wondered how she must have felt as she gave him all she had. In her impoverished state, she steps into the house of God and still chooses to give what she had when she could have just bypassed the offering and kept it for any scrap of food. For that I'm really amazed at her devotion to honour God.

What about you and me when we are still able but not feeling good? Throw up our hands in surrender and walk away until we feel like it? No, we don't give up. Similiar to the widow, we may shuffle our feet and feel lesser than those who around us. But we must still trust, open our hearts and bare it to a God who sees and cares. We must choose to believe because our life in God is not hollow. We emulate the widow and arise to elect to give all we have. He has shown that he observes and looks out for the poor who give all they have.

Why? Because God is faithful even when we are not up to the mark. That's what makes God, God. Because God is love. 


blessings,
M.

 "The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.  Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful."(Jeremiah 31:3-4)

Who's in-charge of your life?

1 Samuel 28-7, 8 & 20

Saul then said to his attendants, "Find me a woman who is a medium, so I may go and inquire of her." 

"There is one in Endor," they said.

So Saul disguised himself, putting on other clothes, and at night he and two men went to the woman. "Consult a spirit for me," he said, "and bring up for me the one I name.".....................

Immediately Saul fell full length on the ground, filled with fear because of Samuel's words. His strength was gone, for he had eaten nothing all that day and night.

I rarely am so free or motivated to post twice in a day, but this incident which I had with my colleague brought out key spiritual truths to me.

She's Belgian, sits beside me and we're neighbours who greet each other every morning. She's could not take the messy work environment and along with a host of other work-boss issues, she chose to resign from her job. Tomorrow's her last day and yesterday she decided to go with her boyfriend to see an astrologer who was recommended by a friend. As usual stories would go about, it all goes to say that her friend was initially skeptical, but after that very 'accurate' session, she now a rather firm believer and had thus done that recommendation.

I was informed of it yesterday and had warned her that they'll likely tell her negative stuff and was trying to tell her not to take it seriously. She had assured me that her skeptical boyfriend would be there to balance her. We agreed that she'll come back the next day (today) to update me of her exciting experience.

Today, she told me that the Astrologer told her that the planets of her life were all in bad shape and everything from job, money, love life were rotten and without hope. Then she confessed that even though she tried to show a very positive appearance, once the news of doom and jinxed life hit her, she broke into tears because it was so real to her. when I probed further, I was glad that she didn't go the extra extent to buy the required talismans to make things better. But she was nonetheless very dejected and you could see in her a depressed countenance.

As we stood on our own desk space, parted by our partition, I went into a long 15 minutes counseling session and was grateful to be able to bring across the message of who is in charge of your life and what defines your life's outlook. I also took the time to give her the "i-told-you-so" speech, because I told her she'll just hear about bad news simply because how many of these 'spiritual' mystics will give good news and hope?

This situation really parallels with king Saul's encounter with the witch of Endor. When things are so depressing and it just seems like we're living in endless seasons of bad luck, who can we turn to?

Sure, life is no bed of roses. Especially when we compare with the 'luckier' people around us. Let's face it, the comparison to find someone better off than us will never end. Even if we were the richest person in the world, we'll probably lament that we are not the most intelligent or handsome. There will be something that makes us sigh and lament.

I ended the talk with her on an encouraging good note, but as I sit down to reflect I really see the need to build in our lives the answer of who is in charge of our lives in terrible, bad seasons. Is it us who is defining our vision of where we are going? Or can we recognise that it is God who holds us in His hands and will guide us through the thick and thin of life.

Jesus Christ, Saviour of my soul. May He also be yours and reveal to you His keen interest to be in charge of your destiny, your plans, and every single step you will make in this life.

blessings,
M.

"My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past;the rains are over and gone. "(Song of Solomon 2:10-11)

God is my shelter

Philippians 4:6-7 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Gosh, yesterday's business meeting with my big boss was one-of-a-kind in my entire 10 years of working.  

Over a little matter such as getting my colleague who was calling overseas to stop talking, he ended up loosing his composure. Something was wrong with the teleconference line and so my colleague could not hear his instructions to 'stop'. What resulted was a sheer nightmare as the big boss starting shouting into the telephone unit. From a loud tone to a frustrated crescendo, he got so frustrated that he yelled non stop my colleague's name and then slammed the phone. That resulted in everyone in the room stunned and tensed. 

It really seems like a bad dream, as I relive that moment. I sat there, frozen and stunned and all I did was to instinctively say a pray "God, protect me". For the rest of the surreal 45 minutes, I presented the business presentation calmly and somehow had enough wisdom to answer what was needed.

I have always read testimonies, but never really understood what it would have felt like to instinctively call upon God and have God providing the indescribable peace to victims of the holacaust, or during those dreadful life-death moments. Yesterday, I finally understood as I reflect back at His protection upon my mind and emotions at such a crazed moment.


M.   

"My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior— from violent men you save me." (2 Samuel 22:3)

The grass is greener

Deuteronomy 5:21

"You shall not covet your neighbor's wife. You shall not set your desire on your neighbor's house or land, his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

Gosh I'm really terrible at keeping my eyes on my own green plot of land. To me, there is really a lot of truth in the saying that "the grass seems greener on the other side". 

Here's why. The past month, I received news of friends who got sudden windfalls of new jobs that seemingly dropped onto their laps and it came with nice fat pay increases and titles. Somehow, it invokes the inner green monster in me as I can't help but compare. Suddenly my green patch of life seem to be filled with ugly cow grass and my neighbours look like a hill of lush, soft carpet grass.

Not that my life is miserable to the dumps, but there's this part of me that never seems to be satisfied for the nice things of life- money, position, perks, travel benefits, free products. Since the pursuit of the finer things in life doesn't really end, and only warrants a sinful lust for more, may I learn to be contented with the grass of my own pastures.   

M.

Beyond trusting God

Matthew 6:31-34 (MSG)

What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

JLTA 2010 is over. With it comes a great opportunity for lives to encounter God and for me to be a part of a very tiring but rewarding camp (as you age, it truly takes its toll on the body). This year was particularly taxing because it not only rained excessively,  the trainees were so slow that everything ended so late. Even our night service started at 10:30pm, which was the planned sleeping hour.

This verses above in the MSG edition is really apt in expressing God's amazing provision in my work life, especially when I take my leave to serve him. 

How often it is when we look at the situation ahead of us and everything seems mired in difficulties and problems. I may have run a Jr survivor camp before, but that really does not guarantee that everything can be run like clockwork. With a different job, different campsite and the global weather going cukoo, there's really no guarantee that anything wrong would not take place.

As I eagerly anticipated the arrival of the JLTA, before me was a pile of work problems and tasks which never seemed to end. It really does not help that nowadays everyone expects you to be 24/7 and responding to issues via emails or mobile. Moreover, only before my leave somehow, there is always a barrage of urgent matters which need my attention to resolv. Even though I have this 'heck-care' attitude with work when it comes to me being on personal leave, somehow when I have this crazed, hot-tempered big boss that makes me worry that all the issues would just explode in my absence.

Faith is easy to talk about, trusting God is an action, but let's be honest. At times where our reputation and rice bowl is at stake, it's really beyond trusting God. However, this is where the promises of God is just so good. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

blessings,

M.

Marvelling at God's provisions

1 Corinthians 2:9

“However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

I'm in Barcelona (BCN), spain for work and have been here for 2 days already. As I'm waiting for my actual conference programme to start, it dawned upon me that it's been a really long while since I've updated because the ending part of 2009 was so packed and as the new year started, everything quickened. 

 

Currently, I'm sitting in my room in Barcelona and I've this incredible view of the city, it's really gorgeous because the  room which I first stayed in for day 1 was getting all the sun and it made it stuffy and I could just feel myself getting a migraine. So after deciding that suffering for 6 days would not be worth it, I went to the front desk to request for a room that faces the other side. Who would have thought that I would get a free upgrade and now it has this amazing shower and nice view which I'lll enjoy for the next 6 days. The view is simply breathtaking, and I can stare outside at anytime of the day and bask the beauty of the city in different times of day. Sigh.

Times like this, I really marvel  at the goodness of God's provision. God is good.


M.