Psalms 141.8
But God, dear Lord, I only have eyes for you. Since I’ve run for dear life to you, take good care of me. (Message version)
Taken from the message version, my heart was drawn to the ending of this verse. The other versions state the hope to be defended or kept safely from evildoers. Yet, I'm not in the same condition as David who was seeking for God as his enemies persecuted him.
All I ask for is for God to take good care of me. To be able to live life without much care, to be healthy, sufficient, happy and most importantly, to never worry about the steps I've to take every waking day of my life.
The year is coming to an end and the mood in the office is reflective and increasingly quiet as people go on leave. It's been a tough work year, what is making things sour is how the unhappiness of work is now burdened with disappointing news in ministry. In the past month, I've yet to come to terms with a young leader deciding to drop out of the ministry for reason I'm not privy to. To have 4 young leaders reduced to 3 is something that has burdened my heart because it's always difficult for me to lose hold of an individual.
I'll always put a prayer of covering over anyone who is leaving, but somehow, it's just me to be concerned if they will be taken care of. Maybe it is because I've also witnessed many who have left the church for other options, only to find out years later that they no longer attend church. I do not profess that I'm able to be that one to strengthen the faith of individuals under me, but I do always try to aid in any way I can for individuals to receive support. In the meanwhile, all I ask of God is to always take care of those whom I've lost.
My body is still relatively young and my heart is currently emotionally strong albeit with many more wounds and scares. Somehow, I always wonder what will happen someday when I'm much older and when I'm unable to keep this momentum of service and got to suffer a setback or two when lives are lost. For that, I can only ask of God to take good care of me.
God, I may not be the faithful person you expect of, but I do pray you continually take good care of us all.
M.
