Lemons of life

Ruth Senter said, "Life varies its stories. Time changes everything, yet what is truly valuable - what is worth keeping - is beyond time".

I know I'm getting old, but beyond just thinking like an old fart (which I like to believe I'm not), I've also started to see the wisdom of looking at life beyond a season or two.

In the busyness of restarting work in the latter half of 2014, I've gone to countries to do business trips, settled a couple of events, and also found myself up to the neck in personal administrative matters because I chose to buy an apartment and now have to deal with the complicated, tedious affairs of renovations.

Coming daily to work in this new workplace, I barely have any strength to do reflections because the administrative mind goes all over the place as I need to catch up with knowing what to do, I also need to play the role of a boss as I map out the directions and guide in the implementation matters.

The only personal holiday I've taken so far was my annual commitments of the Rangers camp, some 2 weeks ago. The camp was fine, but it was the conversations that I had that brought me to a place where I never imagined I would have gone. As I talked through with individuals from another church on the matters that has riled them, the conversation eventually turned to sour and unhappy points of what is transpiring in church that is also affecting life as a whole.

As I look back at this year, I cannot but sometimes feel sourish over the lemon-ish moments. A touch of sour, a tinge of bitter happens when I choose to look at the no-job-news-moments, no-discipline-to-recharge, idiots-of-workplace, church-annoyance-moments. However, I know myself than to be sucked in by all the matters that rob me of my joy. 

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." It may be a busy year, it may be a challenging year, it may well be the worst year. But let not the lemons of life make life sour, because life is worth more living than to live it outside of God's joy.

M.

Fill me with gladness

Psalms 4:7-8
Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound. In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.

There was a time in the past weeks that I was lamenting and whining about work in the new place. Any question  about how was work resulted in negative comments.

As I walked home, it dawned upon me that I was given 2 roles to choose from and I made a conscious decision to select this role and therefore, I should not lament because it would make me ungrateful and be in a bitter spirit against God.

It dawned upon me that day that the heart is truly fickle and when emotions sway, it is so easy to be discontented. How important is it to be filled with gladness from God because we need to always remember that the author and creator is good, and always good.

M.

Created to do good works

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I've been at the new workplace for 6 weeks and boy has it been a very tough affair to adapt back to the regular-sleep-early-wake up routine, plus the need to get back to work and deal with idiotic situations constantly drive me up the wall.

As various work situations grieve or frustrate me, I can't help but start to realise my tone is rising in annoyance as the days go by.

Today as I read this verse, I'm reminded that it's more than just do work. There's an important need to remember that in everything we are created to do, in Christ Jesus we are to do good works. 

M.

 

The end of a phase

Psalms 138:8
The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands.

Tomorrow, I end my long 6 months phase of unemployment and go back to work with a new job. As I close this chapter of my life, it ended on such a momentus high because I was able to witness the hand of God as He instrumented all the key pieces of the puzzle that means the world to me.

As I look back at the last 3 weeks, I'm wowed by the fact that I ended this phase with such pleasant memories.

I had the sister's car and spent 1 week driving my godson home. During this time, I also spent 2 saturday dinners with KaiFeng and JingWen after my saturday ministry - time well spent because I was able to hear from them on their mission trip experiences and their positive encounters.

Then, I was able to commit full amounts of time to working with Kaifeng to plan the camp and settle the nitty gritty aspects of the admin and logistics. To have time to be in the PowWow camp was momentus because everything went incredible well and God was marvellous as He ministered to all and also opened the lives of 3 new kids who found salvation.

Straight after this, I went with my RKs for a sunday waterplay outing. Then, it was back home to pack and I left for a wonderful holiday in Hanoi, crossing off one of the bucket list places that I wanted to visit.

Today, my last non working day, I'm off to have lunch with an ex-colleague who has been instrumental in my last 5 years of career and I'll end it off a birthday dinner with the oldest of my RA. Life is awesome as I reflect of how the last few moments of this phase comes to an end.

Yet, it hasn't always been so smooth or wonderful.  In the worst days of the uncertain days where I applied for tons of jobs and got no replies, I could not but feel bitter and upset with what had happened to me. However, what was certain was the important things and people of my life were not taken away and how God continually was there for me, even when I felt so emotionally despondant.

God never lets go of our hands, nor does He abandon the work of His hand. If there's anything I have gathered from this phase, I've learned to understand that because He endures forever and chronos time is immaterial to a God of eternity, His ways will be accomplished in His kairos time and that will always be perfect as we see His vindication.

M.  


 

Still need to do our part

Genesis 17:1-2
When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am God Almighty; walk before me faithfully and be blameless. Then I will make my covenant between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers.”

Started the morning with a bad news sms from my disciple who failed his driving test for the third time. Apparently, he was told that he wasn't checking the blind spots before he moved, and the former tester had also penalised him on the same point. The issue, however, is the testee was doing what was required, but was not seen by the testor.

So, since it was the 3rd failure, it's a rather angsty feeling. I can fully understand, having failed my driving test before and well knowing that it's really stupid to be penalised for something that was not seen or captured by the testor. Afterall, we can't be possibly shouting out what we're doing in order to inform the testor, especially when the testor is not always paying attention and penalises based on what he perceieves is done/not done.
 In the sms correspondence, I was trying to provide a reasonable explanation for the driving test failure, and I typed; we sometimes need to be seen doing what is required because we cannot just not do and expect God's favour to be on us.

I don't really think it's a biblical fact that I stated, but I do feel that sometimes as we deal with people, we must undertake some deliberate actions that would allow others see that we are doing what they want. In the working world, it's what perceived that is done that is above what is done but not seen.

Fortunately, God isn't like a driving testor. He'll never mark us down for something we did, but was not seen by Him. He's always in the know of what we do. However, when I look at His instructions of blessings to Abram, I realise that for God's covenant to be fulfilled, we have to first undertake what He expects. Not on our terms and expect God's favour to fall like free rain.

M.

Help me overcome my unbelief!

Mark 9:21-24
Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”
“From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

I can almost see the incredulous look of Jesus when he states "if you can?" to the father of the boy who is possessed by the impure spirit.

How tragic is it to have a child possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech, and frequently attempts to kill the child. I cannot imagine how miserable life would be for the family.

Yet, this is such a huge (HUGE!), complex situation that one can only understand how nothing short of a miracle from God can provide the required deliverance. Who on earth can comfort the father or guarantee a solution when neither medical science nor the priests/disciples could do anything.

It's very human for anyone of us to see life in the impossibilities, as opposed to believe in bold faith. But Perhaps we don't have to have bold faith, because as seen in this example, we only need to look to God to say, I believe but I need help to overcome my weak belief of you.

I must share, that in this last few days, I've constantly prayed like the father because I sense that this jobless journey is ending soon. Yet, because I'm not sure 100% if this is just some positive thinking of my own mind, I'm always troubled with being too optimistic. In fact, I struggle with even trying to claim in faith because I tell myself not to count the eggs before they hatch - for one, I haven't even had a phone call for an interview and my job applications have stopped in the last 2 weeks!

Still, with a sense in me, errorneous or not (time will only tell), I know deliverance from this jobless state will come from God. So with the troubled mind of faith and doubt, I've learned how to weakly state Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief. 


The God of all, is Lord of all.
M.
 

We may see but not understand

Mark 8: 17-21
Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?” “Twelve,” they replied.“And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?” They answered, “Seven.”
He said to them, “Do you still not understand?”

Yesterday, as I read this story in Mark 8, it dawned upon me that Mark records both the feeding of the 5000 and 4000! Somehow, I always felt (wrongly I know) that they were the same story, just different interpretations from different authors of the gospels.

What's astounding to a casual reader would be the response of the disciples during the feeding of the 4000. Since this happened after the feeding of the 5000, and given Jesus' short 3.5 years ministry, surely the disciples would have remembered how Jesus was able to miraculously provide food using 5 small barely loaves and 2 fish. Yet, it was not so when the incident happens. Somehow, having experienced the great miracle once, they failed to grasp that Jesus can likewise continue to do the same miracle for the 4000.

Now, after reading the verses, it dawned upon me that I'm no better than the disciples. For all the lack of faith or blindness that I can point out of the disciples, I can likewise spot the same issue in my life. 

In 1999, I waited for 1 year for God to provide me with a job. It was a year of waiting in fear as the dot.com bubble busted. From a period of waiting, it became panic as the months passed 6 months. However, all went well when I found myself employed in a job that eventually got me directed me to pursue my love for marketing. Similarly, in today's context, having lost my job, and applying for tons of jobs over the past 4 months, I'm faced with a situation where I have replies and still am wondering what is happening. Days like today, I have no appointments so I end up stoning at home and can say it does drive me nuts as I ponder of why my life is turning out like this. (whining moments of life)

How very feeble and small minded for us to have such a weak grasp of God's godliness. Yet, how good is God to not get frustrated and give up on us even when we don't see to understand that He is always more than able.

You see, the God who fed the 5000, also fed the 4000 with excess to spare. Excess that I believed pointed to His abundance. Somedays we really need to cry out, Lord help my unbelief!

He is more than able, amen.
M.   

A reminder.

1 Thessalonians 4:16
For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.

Yesterday, I visited the Tulipmania event in Garden's by the Bay. 

As I look at all the pics of tulips that I took, I recall a conversation I had a year ago with Evelyn. She had just gone there and was marvelling at how amazing the conservatory was and how she had an annual pass and planned to go there regularly once she came out of her cancer treatment. I recall asking her via sms if that pass was something I could borrow so I could go in for free and of course, her quick answer was "no! just go and pay for yourself lah!". 

As I wandered around the tulips yesterday, someone mentioned, someday in heaven it'll be like that, cool weather, beautiful flora and fauna.  Paradise will simply be paradise.

It is almost a year ago, but because her facebook page shows her in the midst of the tulips, the fact that she was there amongst the tulips will always be immortalised. As I look at the pics of tulips that I took, boy does it affect me because I associate it with her and her love for what she saw last year. I can't help but realise that I miss her and the oft funny moments of blunt frank conversations we had.

Losing Evelyn was a big event to me last year. Simply because I lost her as I was in Taiwan on a business trip and was slogging myself amidst the news that she was in critical condition, and then to find out that she has passed away. After a full day that saw me through full meetings and a visit to the baseball event, I finally reached my hotel room of the president hotel, taipei and broke down.

There are days in my jobless phase that I wonder why the past 1 year has been so tough. As if losing lives was not hard enough, somedays I feel so defeated for being in a listless stage. Yet, I'm reminded that this is but a temporary phase of life. Someday, the Lord will return and take us back to paradise and we will get to meet all who had gone before us.

Eve, I assume heaven has many nicer flowers that you are enjoying now, but this I took is for you. Until the day we meet, I must always remind myself to live the days of my life well lest I get scolded by you someday.

M.

Illogical to me

John 9:1-3
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

Sometimes, we never really know why things happen to us the way it does. What seems illogical is when there is no cause and effect, or when bad things happen to regular folks who do not seem to deserve what life throws at them.

We can scratch our heads and ponder all day long, but things just happen as God decrees. This does not mean that God dictates tragedies to be in people's lives as He would deem it like a game. In His sovereignty, our minds cannot fanthom why things happen. But, one can rest assured that nothing happens without God knowing or His purpose being doubted.

In all the bad and horrid matters that life can throw at us, God is always with us. Yes, that even includes the tempests of bad news, the stillness of a stagnant moment or in the pains of physical ailments. God may never grant us the full picture of why things happen, but know that if we trust Him to work in our life, what is displayed in our life will always show that God is God almighty of our lives.

M. 

Be clear about what God promised.

Genesis 15:2-4
But Abram said, “Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?” And Abram said, “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.” Then the word of the Lord came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir.”

Genesis 16:1-4
Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.

I never realised that Abram had only heard directly the details of him having a son through Sarai after he had agreed to take Hagar as his concubine and she conceived Ismael. He was 86 years old when Ismael was born.

The right lineage that God wanted to bless Abram was through his union with Sarai, not Hagar.

As I trawled through the various chapters of Genesis to make sense of the timelines of actions, I only realised that it was very interesting to see that much earlier, God had revealed to Abram that he would be blessed with a heir. However, there wasn't any accurate details of how the heir would be birth from, until much later when Abram was 99 years old.

The key I realised it when God promised Abram of a heir of his own flesh and blood, he should have realised it would be a perfect promise. The heir would naturally come from his union with Sarai. However, how easy it is for us to not trevail before God for the promises He had spoken to us. In a moment of folly, Abram made a grave mistake by using human logic and accepting Sarai good intentions.

I can fully attest to how in a moment of waiting for awhile, the restlessness will kick in and suddenly, we'll do anything and everything that seems humanly logical. Therefore, to see the example of Abram is of great reminder to me even as I live through the current phase of waiting for God's provision of a job.

When I was in the early stages of my job loss, with high levels of faith, I knew that this would be the greatest thing that had happened to me. It would not be a troubling time, but one which I knew God had allowed in my life. Therefore, it was going to be purposeful.

However, as time ticked and the salary disappeared, and all the interesting jobs that I yeared for never materialised, I'm suddenly in a 4 month slump. The past interviews made me realised that I'm now willing to settle for less. Compromise is starting to be the name of the game so long as I am able to get started with work. What a different change of confidence and character when the spirit is unnerved by how life ticks by.

Today, before I leave for a short holiday in Bangkok. I found myself staring at some job postings and wanting to spam them with my resume. Even though I'm not 80% satisfied with what the role is about, I almost wanted to apply for it and hope for some form of response by next week. Such is the desperation of the moment that I would be willing to suffer should I get these as my next job. Afterall, I told myself, that I've already applied for the seemingly ideal ones and there wasn't any replies. Why be picky and stubborn.

I only stopped myself because something in me made me want to find out how Ismael was created. As I read and understood the scenario, I now know better. If God made a promise, even if it's high level without the nitty gritty facts, it's key for us to trevail before Him so we can see His promise come to pass. Not use what our minds, what good intentions that is told by others.

His ways are the best, and would also cause the least issues for us in the future. Surely, we must believe that if this good God created the earth with all the amazing intricacies of creation, He can and will do a great work in our lives. Afterall, we are created in His image and placed just below the heavenly.

So, I'm stopping all these non-ideal applications, I'm going to go to Bangkok to enjoy myself with Daniel. But I'm also going to trevail in prayers to see God's promise for my job materialise eventually. If He told me to "stand still and wait and see", I should really entrust my fears and hopes to Him.

M.
 
 

Feeble hands strengthened

Isaiah 35:3
Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way

The glory and splendor of God will  provide strength to feeble hands and will make wobbly knees stready. This is because God provides the super natural to our frail human conditions.

We are often so easily defeated by all we see and experience in life. I know because today, I went for another interview and as time ticked, I was informed that there was no perfect fit given my lack of experience in one crucial requirement that they needed.

Just one closed door and my spirit crumbles. Well, not just one closed door, it was a door that I was hoping for because the three months I've gone through  in the start of the year seems to yield no success as time goes by.

It's so easy to look at anything laid before and think that it would be the opened, promise door. Yet, when it isn't, it's incredibly discouraging to look at the empty beyond. 

However, for such a time like this, it is important to behold the promise that God will come to save as He did for His people of the days long ago.

The greatest honour is to someday be able to witness God at work, restoring and redeeming us from our current life crisis. God be praised.

M.

Treasure inside us

2 Corinthians 4:7
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

As I reflect on this verse, I realise how little I cherish of what God has placed in me the moment I made the choice to recieve my salvation in Jesus Christ.


I'm amazed at the boldness of how Paul states the fact that though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. This is really becuase the all-surpassing power of God lives in us and we need to only recognise and accept in faith.

How easy it is for us to get emotional, weak and affected by all that our eyes see, our bodies feel, and what our mind says. For the God who creates us is always perceived in our limited understanding. Some call it spiritual anemia where we forget that God is God and we arrogantly expect God to be there to do our bidding, answer our prayers and to bless us. It is one thing to recognise that God is in us and another to put God as a being who goes before us just to make our life smooth.

What good is the treasure inside us if God is not glorified? Enough of mediocrity and living life in an uneventful mode. Surely, you and I can start to see that God has given us the power to impact the lives of others around us.

M. 

Trusting that God will make all things right.

Serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next. 

Yesterday marked the third month of my employment loss and it was significant to me because it also meant that my salary in lieu ended. I would now be living off my savings.

I always thought it would be fine and dandy since I've prepared myself to have tons of savings for wet-weather days. However, what I felt yesterday was the reality of "no more money coming in" and that made me feel sucky. It is hard to explain how it feels to have your identity and surety shaken when the income stops, but the saver in me was feeling very crippled.

Now, when one part of the brain starts getting affected, the psyche goes after a while. I was rather taken aback at how I came back after a breakfast meeting to feel sullen and down because I find time clicking away and a lack of vision of where I was in the dark tunnel. (what happened to that confident person 3 years ago who was preparing for retrenchment by going to South America for a break?)

I really have no idea how long this employment 'drought' is going to be, and I've so many concerns that are not fun to have in my head. Like, what happens if I desperately accept a role in a new shitty place, or find myself out-dated and having to receive a paycut! The thoughts are in abundance and no lack that it is really not funny. 

Somehow, I chanced upon the Serenity prayer today and finally saw the full version and for once, I realised that in surrender to God will I find my happiness. So, out goes the fear, the uncertainties, the paranoia, the thousand of thoughts that this planning brain is capable of. (If only I can numb myself via an induced thought coma drug)

All will be well because God is with me, always. Oh! He's also there for you as He hangs around me. :)
M.   

What's God's way?

Isaiah 55:8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 

Even as I sit at my dining table waiting for my instant noodle to cook (takes minutes to boil a laksa la mian, not a 2 sec pour hot water cup noodle) , I've literally waiting for someone to call me so I can eventually go for an interview and possibly secure the job that God will grant me.

In the past hours, I've gone through a short talk with God because there was a particular job that my friend had sent me, but I'm not keen to pursue. It's quite funny to state to God, "can you give me something better, as this really isn't what I want. So, i'm not applying for it ok, because I know you surely know me better to give me what I thrive in - just I hope it's fast coz the salary stops by mid this month"

I don't know if you know this, but we human are generally very dense. (ok, maybe not you if you don't feel so. At least I know it applies to me) Given the incredible sight of the universe and what we witness of God's hand of creation, we can still fail to grasp the fact that God is above all our fears.It's so easy to waver in fear, to feel afraid that our lives are not living according to expectations, we're unpaid, we're losing out. Yet, nothing can be further from the truth because the same God who calmed the storm in 1 breadth, raised the dead, stopped the sun and moon from moving, is in absolute control of the plans of our life. 

As I make great efforts to reflect on the bigness of God, it always gives me strength because I remember that God's way is complex and yet, the best for His children. Time, man's ideas, the world has nothing that stands in His way.

For the time that we wait, seeming in vain, it's because God does not want us to proceed on. His thoughts are for us and therefore, He'll continue to release the grace and strength needed for us to release our doubts to Him and yes, the day will come when we see the God given solution.

M.

You only need to be still

Exodus 14:10-14
As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

I've applied for what I think is a fair number of jobs. Yet, no one has called me to arrange an interview or talk to clarify my appplication. Sometimes, my mind will wander and lead me to ask why is it that I'm not being called. It's a bit unnerving and self-doubts start to creep in when I consider myself to be a great employee with amazing capabilities. (Self praise, no doubt, but I truly believe that I am superb in what I do in marketing)

Yet, I'm not panic stricken nor anxious simply because I know that time to God is. It is but a blink of an eye and in the greater scheme of my life, it's only a phase in a long working period. So while I can endure the stress free days, days with lunch appointments and even aimless days of doing nothing but laze at home because the sun is simply too hot to leave the home. Life will just be passing days untill God opens the door for my next employment.

With some confidence, I know that there's nothing I can do to force open an interview or a job offer. I know for a fact that I need to learn how to be standing still, even in the face of uncertainties. But isn't life always like this for us? We can do any and everything but it is the Lord who will deliver us from life. It is just the actual moment of learning to stand still in the face of uncertainties that unnerves us. Such is the shallow nature of our faith.

When I come out of this unemployment phase, I hope to be able to look back and  recognise how childish the paranoia I had, and how amazing the hand of God is to instrument the next steps of my career. In the meantime, all I do is be hopeful and wait in obedience without giving my head many chances to run wild in panic. 

My God is mighty to save!

M.

Time and Stewardship

1 Peter 4:10
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

Now that I'm jobless, I've tons of time. 

The conundrum that one has when working is the lack of personal time, but availability of money. So you have the ability to afford things but sadly, time to enjoy it is limited to the weekends and the annual leave. The opposite applies when one is not working; you have the ability to enjoy the time at hand, but limited to the money available.

I must say that I've enjoyed the freedom of not working. The unnerving thing is the worry of when I'll eventually find a job that pays me what I was last worth. Now, that is quite a challenge because it is always easier to find a lower salary job at my stage of the career.

In the many hours that I have, I realised that it is so easy to slack off. For example, I can literally watch TV, surf the net to watch anime or comedies, read an article or two and simply not do anything productive for the whole day. I shock myself at how I can afford to stay at home the whole day without feeling aimless and that makes me only realise how terrible a steward of the time I'm given.

With the days that I live, I would dread to use it all on working in the rat race found in the corporate world. Yet, I cannot possibly use this current phase and waste all the days given to me. 

Peter tells the church in this chapter that the end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray.

Time for me to really be a bit less slack and more sober and pray. For such a time like this, I should be make better use of the time so I can be accountable to God for the time He has given me in this phase of unemployment.

M.

New. It's all new

Psalms 139:17-18
How precious to me are your thoughts,God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand when I awake, I am still with you.

This is a new year and now that I'm not working, boy is it a new experience to get up at the same time and not have to go to work. I get to slumber, laze and wonder what to do when everyone else is getting back to the hustle and bustle of life. I call it the retirement internship phase of life until I find myself a new job.

Knowing me and how I can laze all day long without accomplishing anything, I've elected to do up a list of matters that I need/have to do and now need to discipline myself to get it all done!

As I sit in the library and capitalise on the free WiFi, power and aircon (and escape the noisy drilling renovation noise at home), I marvel at how this feels like a student's school holiday period. Yet, it isn't for me because I can't enjoy this all my life (or can I? hmm......)

This new year marks a year of new perspectives because of the new beginnings now that I don't have a job. Yet I know that it is for a significant purpose that God decreed that I would lose my employment on 20 Dec 2013. His thoughts of what he expects me to do would outnumber the sands on the beach. For that, I'm waiting with baited breath what He will place before me in the coming days, weeks and months.

It's a strange feeling to wake up, free from work, but also insecure because come 20 March, I would no longer receive financial income. Humanly, I would love to get myself a job that pays me much more and also treat me much better. Ideally by Feb I would have this all sealed. But, who is to dictate what God will do.

Therefore, on the week 1 of 2014, I seek out in simple faith for the precious thoughts of God in my career path. I proclaim a new revelation on what I am suppose to do, new industry to be in, because the steps I walk ahead should never be same-old stuff. Something new, refreshing and liberating so the days at work at enjoyable and a breath of fresh air.

How pleasant it is to know that the higher thoughts of God on my life are precious gold, and more vast than what I can count.

All is well, all can only get better from here. This also applies to you. Woots!
blessings,
M.