Revelations 21:1-4
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Ever since I returned from Japan on 22 April, my days at work are often filled with loneliness because my co-worker who is also my SE colleague is on maternity leave. My closest colleagues are workaholics contented to eat the awful food of the canteen. The rest of the folks, I'll never want to eat lunch with. So lunchtime can get really depressing as I venture out alone.
Eating alone occasionally is fine and sometimes fun, because I get to venture to town, eat nonsense instead of the typical standard meal. However, when it's for a continuous number of days, it really gets depressing. More so when the weather is crummy or days with work blues.
Funny thing is, I have been feeling rather chirpy and positive the past week since I was busy trying to lookout for someone who's facing the blues and also teach my assigned RR leaders course on Sunday. Sure there are a couple of stuff which I'm contemplating about, some work issues and christian living tasks which I've been putting off. But nothing that warrant myself being low. However today just before lunch time, as the reality of lunch alone plus Monday physical exhaustion blues hit, the emotions dipped.
I ate a boring, veggie rice with lotsa veggies and no gravy, since that reduces the oil, fat and whatever that could make it unhealthy and provoke more self-torment. Then I went to the supermarket to get myself the healthiest, lowest sugar tea with highest amount of tea poly-phenols, and at the cheapest offer price. (amazing how in the lowness of my feelings, my mind rationalises for my own benefit).
Then I ambled to the library to find some air-conditioned solace. There wasn't any of the latest comics and I picked up a children's book "the girl who loved wild horses". Clearly unsatisfied after 4 minutes, I walked about to find some puppetry books since I wanted to get a bit more resources for my forthcoming ER teaching lessons. Nothing fruitful materialised and it was really getting depressing. As I did my rounds, I went to the standard fiction section to check out any latest books from Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins.
I'm really glad that my body got my there as I decided to pick up the last of the left behind series book "Kingdom come". Out of boredom, I told myself that I had nothing else to read, thus I might as well reread the last section of the book. At the description of Heaven and the fictional description of living in beautiful heaven and for eternity, something awoke in me and the shackles of my self-pity-party fell.
I am reminded that someday, if I continue to be faithful and always fix my eyes on Jesus, I'll make it to Heaven. That is really a goal worth going after and I simply cannot afford to fall on the wayside and allow myself to be sidetracked by my feelings or my secular aspirations.
God did not promise a life that is smooth sailing, but He did promise a safe passage and importantly, a reward of eternity that is priceless.
May we live as Heaven-bound individuals.
blessings,
M.
"Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." (2 Timothy 4:8)
